New Year Approval

Verse

You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more.

Psalms 10:14,17-18

Facts and Figures

  
    On this part of the blog I want to make the case for domestic adoption. I completely believe in foreign adoption, someday I want to go to India and be with the babies in the streets so believe me when I say I'm all for it. I do feel like there's a romantic side of adoption that some can fall into. The idea of a child from another country is very appealing because of culture and what a different environment you're bringing them into it can be very exciting.

When I talk to people about domestic adoption there's a hesitation. I don't exactly know what that little look of "oh, you are a martyr" is about but I can say I think it's easier to adopt domestically. Maybe I'm going to be specific and say not just domestic adoption but foster adoption. Children in foster care come from backgrounds that I believe grown adults can fear. Not to say that children from other countries don't have the same problems but I believe that it's really more visible here. It's right in your back yard. These children who are neglected, abused,  and abandoned are right down your street. They could be your neighbor or they could be sitting on the side walk. I believe this idea scares people. This idea that if we don't see it we aren't responsible for solving the problem.

I was talking with my aunt recently, who lives in Argentina and she couldn't believe that I was able to even apply for adoption. In other countries you have to wait till you are married to be able to adopt and even then sometimes it could take years.  Typically what I've found is that it can take 2 years at the most here to at least be in the swing of adoption. You will have a child with in 2 years that is heading for finalizing the adoption. In foreign adoptions it can take years just to get a child then it can take a while to finish the process. Every story is different and what I've found so far is there are no guarantees.

I think personally that this country is amazing when it comes to taking care of the orphans. Are we perfect, no by a long shot. Do we have room for improvement, of course but as I've seen the process I think that the paperwork was very detailed, the home study dug into every part of my life to find any inconsistencies and there is so much support. It's possible for me to have a beautiful child as a single parent in this country where in other parts of the world that can't even be a dream. I advocate for people to at least consider heading down this road. What they told us in class is that eventually you will get the child that is meant for you.

 Thoughts and Journal Entries

January 2011
       My patience is growing thin. Maybe it's the power of my mind imagining what it would/ could be like having a baby in my life but I'm ready. All my paperwork is in and I'm dying to hear if I got approved or not. Be anxious for nothing but in everything give thanks. One of the foster parents got placed with a baby and it's awesome to see pictures but I'm ready!

Finally! Last day of this month I got my certificate saying I'm approved for foster to adopt. I've proudly displayed my certificate that states that as of January 31st 2011 I'm able to take in a foster baby. Ok Jesus I'm ready!! I have to meet what they call a matcher next month to see what baby might be right for me. Apparently she talks to me to get an idea of what I'm looking for. Here we go!

Christmas Promise

Verse

⁴ But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, ⁵ so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. ⁶ Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”  Galatians 4:4-6

 
Facts and Figures

  

Lets talk about finances, what are the truths and myths. It is true through foster care you get a financial stipend. When you go through an foster /adopt agency they take a bit of that to help run their program which I see as fair being as they work hard on your behalf through the process. So in California the monthly stipend is $621 per child per month with an agency it's something like $595. In your paper work you have to prove that you are making enough money to support yourself without that stipend. So for example if my bills were $1,500 a month I have to prove I'm making at least $2,000. Miracles never stop coming, I could have not gotten approved solely on this requirement but somehow God made the numbers work. As most of you know children especially those on formula eat up that check in 2 weeks so while it's not really enough it helps for sure. The first couple of months that you have the child you are required to spend at least $100 worth of clothing per month and when you turn in receipts they reimburse you.

As you go through the process there's a couple myths that need to be busted. First, when you adopt a child from the system you continue to get the stipend until they are 18.  The year they are adopted you get an adoption tax credit which is less the foreign adoption tax credit but it's still really good. Also for your legal costs you will eventually get reimbursed up to $400 which normally is the exact amount the lawyers charge for finishing up the paperwork.

The foster child will remain on state services after it's adopted unless otherwise stated by the adoptive parents. So they get WIC, and Medical till at least 18 years of age if not longer. If they have any learning services or disabilities the compensation pays for continued care of therapies needed. It's amazing the way this system is set up, it really helps people who may not have much financial support to be able to adopt. To me this would be the only way I would be able to adopt!

Tax information on adoption:

http://taxes.about.com/od/deductionscredits/qt/adoptioncredit.htm

 

 Thoughts and Journal Entries

December 2010

   Dear Jesus,
         It feels like this process is taking forever. I just want my baby when will this paperwork end?
   Dear Aileen,
         You'll be getting a Hispanic baby girl, she's not even born yet so chill out.


Yes, these were the conversations that I had with God over and over again during the holidays. I spent the time with my family and since my mother passed, holidays have not been the same.

This was the first Christmas that my father brought his girlfriend and her son to meet the family. While they are nice people it was different meeting them for the first time on Christmas day. I kept thinking about how my life would be so different by next Christmas. It would be fun to have a Christmas that was happy and exciting again. A place where the innocence of a child brought the joy out in the holidays. 

As I prayed over and over about this whole pursuit I felt the Father smiling and just kept saying you have no idea what I have planned for you. Really it was simple for me, all I had done was say yes and He did the rest. Obviously there was work on my half doing the paperwork, getting prepared but there had been amazing grace over it all and it really didn't feel hard at all. I've found radical favor in the eyes of the agency. There were things in my home study which I thought for sure would have prevented me from being approved but so far the home study social worker has said she doesn't see anything wrong. This time next year I will have a baby I just know it! I can't wait it's going to be so exciting.

Opening my presents on Christmas Eve I found myself being delightfully surprised by my sisters gift. She had gotten me baby girl onesies. As I looked at the pattern I thought wow this is really happening and my sister really believes in my dream. It's really amazing to have family believe in you. Even having friends believe in your dreams and support them is phenomenal. What I haven't mentioned yet is that my roommate has really laid a lot down for me to have my dream. She had to fill out paperwork and had been interviewed. She stood the test of being inconvenienced by baby locks and inspections. I'm just so grateful for every one who believes with me through this journey. In this holiday season I became more resolved to finish the race I had started.  
 

The Training is Over and the Wait Begins

Verse

 

For in You the orphan finds mercy Hosea 14:3

 
Facts and Figures

    How many children are in foster care? Well, I've heard statistics from millions to hundreds and all I can tell you is what they told us in class. The greatest number of foster care children in Los Angeles is Mexican Americans whose numbers are double that of African Americans who are right below Mexican Americans in greatest number of children in the foster system. As of 2009 the statistic is 19,900 children in foster care in Los Angeles compared to 1997 with a high of 52,000 kids in the system. I got the stats from this article in the LA Times http://articles.latimes.com/2010/feb/05/local/la-me-foster-care5-2010feb05.

The myth that I hear most people talk about is older kids. Older kids aren't wanted so there are a lot of them in the system. Actually infants are in the greatest need of housing because they are hard to take care of. A lot of foster/adopt parents are preferring school age children so that they can go to work during the day. It's funny as I've gone on this journey I've discovered that there really are a lot of lies that we believe and we are content to believe them without actually doing any research. I too believed that older children weren't getting adopted because of that reason but just like babies older children who have been in the foster system need love, attention, and support. Either way you look at it you're going to have to be willing to work. Children aren't a fashion accessory they are people. 

What has been very interesting through this journey is the ideas that people believe about the system. Really and truly there's a lot of good that comes out of foster care. I know that it's counter culture to say that but what the press doesn't tell you is all the happy ending stories that happen. There's a huge crucifixion of the foster system and how much it fails. How about speaking life over it? How about seeing it for what an amazing job everyone is doing. These people give their lives for children and most of them are overworked and underpaid. In my opinion they are doing the work that the church should be doing. God gave us the mandate to take care of the widow and orphan.

Thoughts and Journal Entries

November 2010



 This month was the worst and best month ever. If I can be honest I would have to say I've never been in so much fire then I am in now. Things at my volunteer job where not going well and things at my paid job weren't going well. Without over indulging I will say that at some point I was facing the possibility of being a single mom without a job. I got let go from my job and thank you Jesus after Thanksgiving got hired by someone else. Same pay but way better conditions for being a single mom. I could bring my baby to work and there will be no conflict. Though emotionally this month took a huge toll on me and many times I wish I was married to have someone to share the ups and downs with Jesus provider and husband came through again. The enemy really ran me through the ringer and I thought many times what am I doing this is really insane. I was told by well meaning people are you sure you actually want to do this? 


In the end I set my face like flint and did not go back on what I had promised the Lord. I will go after His heart. There's nothing that anyone can say at this point that will throw me off my track. I know that God is able to do more then I can ask, think or imagine and I'm imagining big. If everyone abandons me I will still go forward it doesn't matter. This month was a major transition but I came under a covering I never expected. It was as if my mother stepped in to cover me during this vulnerable time. Though my mother is in heaven right now I know that she's watching. I'm sure she's watching and knowing the ending of this story is cheering on. I keep having conversations in my head with my mother, she was the strongest most tenacious woman I knew. She fought with everything she had for something she believed in. Do I believe in this journey that much? Am I really ready to lay it all down for the unknown? All I can say is in the midst of the darkest part of this month when I thought I couldn't take it any more and I was about to explode with frustration God stepped in and made a way. 


My process continues paperwork, home study, and more paperwork. Little by little everything is coming together I thought after the classes it would be fast but it seems to be taking forever. It's ok though I need the time to process this month in full. I need the rest, I need to find the peace again. Many times I do feel pregnant with my emotions and my determination to get everything ready. I don't have time to cry I have to keep going I can cry when it's all over. Keep pressing towards the goal.

Training Day 4/5

Verse
"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! Matt. 7:11

Facts and Figures

 Training day 4 basically we learned CPR, First Aid, and Water Safety. The class cost and extra $50 which we got reimbursed for later on. There's really nothing exciting in this class but it's really important to know how to handle any emergencies.

Training day 5 was our final Saturday together. Really on this last day of training we interacted with each other, built relationships and heard foster/adopt parents talking about their journeys through the foster and adoption process. The stories that I remember most are one man and his partner had one foster child they ended up adopting and then they had another foster baby who they had to give back. It was heart breaking to hear him tell the story. Both the children had been drug exposed and they had had the second child for a while I cant remember exactly but it might have been even up to a year. This is the chance that you take when you do foster to adopt. Your child could always be reunified with their birth parents. Later the little girl became available because the mother started using again. The partners decided they couldn't take the baby back. That for me was the saddest. It's hard to think of taking this journey without the God connection.

I heard these parents some which had been doing this for a while some it was the first time and I thought how is God going to write our story. No matter what religion, sexual orientation, or race everyone in that room cared about these children. It's interesting because I knew in the room that there were people who fundamentally thought differently then each other but they were talking and getting along like they were family. Every story was different, every process was different and there were no guarantees about anything. As I think back on all the weeks of training I realized that it's important to be trained but it's more important to know God's voice and through that you will always have insider information that seemingly no one else will have.


Thoughts and Journal Entries

October 2010

I can't believe that I finished the classes. This is moving a lot faster then I expected. Paper work is getting finished and all the house things are almost ready. Looking at the empty crib is quite daunting. Am I doing the right thing? Will I be a good mother? Who is this child? All these questions are running through my mind over and over. I can't imagine what this child will be like, where will he/she come from, is she/he even born yet?



I just have to take it one day at a time. I hear the Lord telling me to focus on preparing my life, my resources and all my energy goes to getting ready for this baby. Every time I go into the store I pass the baby section and think what do I need? I buy on purpose one thing to remind me of my goal. Keep focused, continue this journey, fight the fight of love.

Training Day 3

Verse

¹⁵ For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” ¹⁶ The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, ¹⁷ and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him. Romans 8: 15-17

Facts and Figures

Training Day 3 we learned about "Cultural Competency/ Transracial Adoption. Believe it or not this class was very interesting to me. In my journey of getting ready for adoption I often imagined what kind or child I would get. I always felt like I would get a Hispanic baby but I am open to who ever God gives me. In this class we learned about how much of an impact culture, race, and identity play on an adopted child. For an African American child to be adopted by a Caucasian family it can be difficult. They encouraged us to pursue getting to know our child's racial norms and history. The last thing you want for your child is them to feel like they aren't apart of your family.

We watched this video that really made me sad. There were these African American children who really railed on their Caucasian adopted parents for not showing them their history or not raising them in the knowledge if what is common practice for their culture. These kids really had so much hate towards their adoptive parents. You can't ignore where your child comes from. In an ideal world all these children would be raised by their biological parents but when that doesn't happen we have to help transition them by bringing in their culture. This is part of the journey of adoption I believe. Its an intentional thing you as an adoptive parent has to think of. How am I going to make my child feel apart of their culture and apart of their adopted culture?

Racism is still really real in our country. If you're Caucasian and you have a different race child people can be very rude and inconsiderate. Being unashamed of your family structure helps your child know that you aren't ashamed of where they came from. The object of making a child feel apart of your family is to make sure you don't attach shame to any part of their identity. Either their race, where they came from, or even how they got to you. This is the tricky part of parenting an adopted child is to maintain that connection no matter what you have to do to do that. The sad fact is that people can quickly categorize your child and attach racial stereotypes. It's important not to ignore their race but bring a positive affirmation to them and build a racial identity and pride.

I believe whoever my child will be they will be great and the journey is going to be amazing! Bring on the beautiful children!

The next following training week we had CPR, First Aid and Water safety training and that took up the whole time. In the mean time we had more paperwork, safety checks, and lots of running around!

Here's another great blog on adoption!

http://writergrlpdx.blogspot.com/


Thoughts and Journal Entries

September 2010

It's getting closer I can feel the finish now at least that's going to be close. I've met a lot of single mothers who are taking this journey with me even though most of them are older. It seems I'm the only one my age taking on this journey which can be kind of lonely but I have friends who are supportive. The still small voice of God keeps encouraging me to continue to pursue peace and finish all that's required. It's been hard putting in the baby locks but I'm determined. I wonder what kinds of baby I will get? I don't mind having a drug baby or neglected baby.
This journey is one of the most radical I've ever taken I think. I'm not a millionaire by any means but God promised to provide every step of the way and I know He will.

Training Day 2

Verse
“Thus has the LORD of hosts said, ‘Dispense true justice and practice kindness and compassion each to his brother; ¹⁰ and do not oppress the widow or the orphan, the stranger or the poor; and do not devise evil in your hearts against one another.’ (Zech. 7:9-10)

Facts and Figures

Training Day 2 started out like any of my Saturdays with breakfast and glorious hope. This new journey of going after social justice and being everything that I was created to be was awakening passion once again in my life. Today in class we learned about attachments. It's amazing how without a correct attachment to an adult a child can become completely lost. Basically the attachment circle goes like this (Child feels a discomfort) --> (Child Expresses discomfort)---> (Parent comforts child -meets need)---> (Child feels comfortable) and the cycle continues. As a child continues to get their needs met they become more and more attached, trusting, and able to relax.

Many children in the foster system have an attachment disorder. Meaning that either from neglect or abuse they are unable to attach to a healthy adult. Bonding with a parent is so vital for children it helps them develop identity, worthiness, emotional intelligence, and many more important aspects that helps then develop into productive adults. The lack of secure attachment looks like: manipulative behavior, anxiety, authority problems, aggressiveness, hostility, poor peer relationships, poor self-esteem, and self isolation. Foster parents are told to do the following to help the child who is unattached gain some sort of healing, positive interactions, strong nurturing, allowing the child to grieve and mourn the loss of birth family, providing structure in the home. I think that we can all remember the media out pouring of stories of families who returned Russian orphans because of this exact issue. One of the most recent ones basically shut down the adoption to the United Sates from Russia (http://articles.cnn.com/2010-04-09/us/us.russian.adoption.return_1_russian-officials-adopted-orphanage?_s=PM:US) to say the least this is a serious issue. The reason why so many not only Russian babies but babies all over the world have detachment disorders is because they are in orphanages that most of the time don't have enough staff and if they do it's under paid and over worked.

Below is a blog that I thought might stir some hearts out there. http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2012/02/if-not-usthen-who.html

This is one reason why I appreciate that we don't for the most part institutionalize our children. Even though there is significant bad press about the foster system and some see it as a bad word I think for the most part they try and put children in homes. This helps at least part of the time bond with humans and for the ones who get into homes that are so amazing and have such loving environments these kids get a chance to be the best version of themselves.

In this class they also went over what it looks like when a baby is on drugs or effected by alcohol. I won't get into all the details here because now we have google and all the information is available but I will talk about what I wasn't aware of before this class. First I had no idea that alcohol is actually more damaging than drugs. Why you may ask? Well apparently alcohol actually effects the genes of a child where it can permanently damage them and there's no cure. With drugs the infant usually takes several months, while painful and a horrible process to detox from any drug the infant could/can return to normal developmental milestones. Ways to help little ones who are detoxing is swaddling, low lights, soft sounds, and a lot of love. Now looking back on this class I'm glad that my story went the way it did. I was ready for a drug baby but I knew I couldn't handle an alcohol baby on my own. I would need a partner for that one. Many babies are put in the foster system because of drug abuse.

Tied into the drug use is birth mothers with mental problems. Those genetic tendencies can be passed down to a baby and if the mother is not diagnosed could pop up later. All of these factors go into understanding where your future child is coming from. The thing about this journey for me is I'm not picking my perfect child from a catalog. If I wanted to have a perfect child I could go through a private adoption agency and or adopt from a foreign country. Not to say children in other countries don't have problems when they come to parents. I find that the problems that make orphans in other countries is mainly poverty. In this country its abuse. Either or drugs, physical, sexual, or criminal. When considering the type of adoption you're looking for consider these different aspects. What I've found talking with parents who have adopted from here to Africa is that in the US comparatively it's easier to adopt domestically. Even my family who live in Argentina this it's a miracle that I can adopt as a single woman and so young too. There you have to be married to be able to adopt and I think even to foster. My aunt and uncle have adopted numerous kids from the foster system down there but they are a couple. I've heard of people in Europe waiting over 10 years to be approved to adopt.

All that to say I'm feeling so fortunate to be in a country where I can go after what God has placed in my heart. I can't imagine my life any different and when my story is written I want it to say she did all she could to fight for love. What kind of story do you want to leave?
Here's some recent statistics for children in foster care. It's possible that in our generation we could adopt all the orphans in the US.

http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2012/02/if-not-usthen-who.html

Thoughts and Journal Entries
September 2010

I'm glad that in this class I'm getting to meet other single mothers. There are actually a number of us. Then you have the couples straight and gay. I've been enjoying getting to connect with other people who are about adoption. Though I realized for some couples this is their last chance at a family. I'm a bit of an odd duck out of water just because of my age. I still am bewildered at the favor on my life. How is this possible that I actually made it this far? More paperwork has come my way nothing I can't handle. Starting to wonder how all my finances will work out though. I work 3 days a week at an office and I don't know if I'll be able to bring the baby with me even though I work usually by myself. God will have to work it out. My desire is to be a stay at home mom but unless He provides in some crazy way I'm going to have to afford daycare which I really don't want to have to do. Come Jesus bring your creative solutions.
Having doubts? No not really just trying to figure out how everything is going to work out. I have to put locks on all the cupboard doors and make sure all the things that I need are in place. There's still a lot more work to do. Many days I'm so exhausted from everything how am I going to have energy for a little one? That's why I'm doing it while I'm young if I was any older I don't know if I could swing it single :) I know it will all work out it always does.

Training Day 1

Verse
"Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the Kingdom.
Luke 6:20

Facts and Figures
On September 11, 2010 I began my first foster to adopt class. The irony has not been lost on me. In fact there were many things going on that day. My fathers birthday is 9/11 and also that day there was a major city out reach involving our church and others to one of the poorest parks in L.A. Starting the journey of adoption on a day many regard as one of the most tragic days in history had a deep impact on me. God's timing is never off He weaves our story into a beautiful tapestry.
The first day of class we were asked a question. What would your fantasy child be/look like? The director made us all draw out what we thought of when we saw ourselves with a child. Many people drew happy pictures of happy families, children that were normal with normal histories/lives. I don't remember what I drew exactly but I knew that entering into this program I wasn't going to get a picture perfect child and I was looking forward to that. I had in mind a drug baby or one that was severely neglected because I knew that God was the equation that wasn't factored into the rest of everyone's mindset. I knew He could heal, repair, and rescue whatever came my way. After many people described their picture perfect child the director told everyone to tear up their pictures because that was not what we were going to be getting.
By definition children who are placed in foster care are victims of a crime. Think about that...these children have to go through something really tragic to end up in the custody of a stranger. That's a rough way to start your life, with a curse already labeled and declared over you.
There are 4 kinds of adoption: Foster Adoption, Traditional Adoption, Kin or Relative Adoption, and Foster Care. Foster Adoption is the program I'm in basically it's this, the child that is placed with you is a foster child until parental rights are terminated at which time that child becomes adoptable. Then when adoptable, you must still go through the process of adoption to finalize legal transference of parental rights. Meanwhile the child is in the "Foster Adoption" home. The deal with this program is that there is a real chance that the child that is placed in your home could be given back to their parents, relative, or family friend. Basically the foster parent is the last tier of people that the child goes through before landing in a permanent home.
The Traditional Adoption is self explanatory but basically it's where children are already adoptable and so there's just the adoption process that needs to be walked through. Kin or Relative Adoption is where if the parent of the child is unable to care for them then the courts look to relatives that maybe able to adopt the child, given they complete the paperwork and classes required of them. Then there's just Foster Care, which is temporary placement of a child. It is typical for foster parents to adopt children who have been with them some for many years however there are foster parents who don't keep the children that are placed with them. Usually children who are placed in foster homes wait for a couple years until the parental rights are terminated or they are given back to their parents. Then at that point they are either adopted or in the custody of their birth parents. The agency that I'm with doesn't believe in shuttling children around from home to home. They at most will move the child twice but do many checks to make the home as permanent as possible.
When we learned that we were not going to get placed with the "child of our dreams" I think that people in the class got more determined to love. It really comes down to that in the end. Other things that they talked about in the first class was what we all wanted. Some wanted older children others wanted infants. What I found interesting about this was that the director said that there was a great need for people to take in infants. The reason being was that older children were getting placed because they spent most of the day in school where as infants needed a lot more care so there weren't enough houses that could take in babies. That was such a shock to me because I figured that the opposite was true. We've heard for years that older children are shuffled around and need homes but you never hear about the infants. The reason that I wanted an infant was first because I love babies but second because the standard is that children 3 and older have to have their own bedroom. I live in a 2 bedroom apartment and I have a room mate so I needed to get a child that I could keep in my room with me. My bedroom is quiet large so a large crib, rocker, and full sized bed fit easily without it feeling cramped. The entire process from foster care to finished adoption is estimated to take about 2 years. People getting into this process have to realize that this isn't just a hop-skip and jump to having the adoption finalized. The Social Worker told me that it was good that it took a long time because if it didn't it would be easy for the government to take children away from their homes without due process. So while it seems at times to be a pain the process has a purpose and that purpose is re-unification. I will have a key below defining these terms so that you can understand what all these terms reference. Here's the basic breakdown to the court process:

The child is pulled from the home>within 48hrs a petition is filed on behalf of the child>there's an initial hearing the same day or the next court day.
15 days later there's a Jurisdiction hearing>10 days after that there's a disposition hearing (this is where they grant re-unification services 90% of the time the other 10% have their services denied.
If services are granted it means that the state will try everything to help the birth parents get their life on track so that they can get their child/children back. They will grant them drug treatment, supervised visitations (usually it's 3 times a week up to 2 hours a visit), job training ect. Whatever the parent needs to get their life on track to be able to support and raise a child. The judges of late have been granting these 3 times a week visits for 2 hours per visit on purpose because they want to parent to feel the burden of taking care of a child. If they can't make those meetings then how can they be a full time parent. That's the logic behind that, on the other hand the foster parent is required to make sure that the child is at the planned meetings. While the foster parent doesn't have to monitor the meetings they have to make sure to make the time available to the birth parents.
These services are granted for 6 months after which there's a court date to review the last 6 months if the birth parent has completed all that was required of them by the court and has proven that they can handle being a responsible adult or parent the court will move to bringing the child back into the birth parents home. If the parent has not shown any effort in trying to get their child/children back then the court can do one of 2 things. The judge can rule that the services be terminated and they are moving towards terminating parental rights or they can grant them 3-6 more months of services and give them a second chance.
Lets say that the re-unification services were terminated at this hearing, then the birth parent has 120 days to contest the court and process. Which means that if the birth parent files a petition then the child goes back into "foster care." If the birth parent doesn't file then the child is technically in a pre-adoption interim. Meaning that they are adoptable but won't be able to be adopted fully until the parental termination hearing happens. A 366.26 hearing is granted, which is code for the parental termination hearing. Once the date of that is set then the parents who want to adopt the child move towards that goal and fill the appropriate paperwork ect.
Once parental rights are terminated then the adoption process starts. There is no guarantees ever. There are no set time frames or standard outcomes, every case is different. Many things can happen along the way, all judges are different in how they see the cases and what they deem fair.
This whole journey for whoever goes through it is very emotional. There are very few rights given to the foster to adopt parents. The advice is to attend the later hearings to show your presence and to prove you really want this child. As a perspective parent being in the court room proves your dedication and it shows the court that you care about the future of this child. It makes the judge put a face to the name on the paper. While this process is so steeped in law, the reality of walking it out is so different, there are real people attached to all the legal paperwork.
Another thing I found interesting was that even if there's a safe surrendered baby or a mother who was willing to sign over parental rights they still had to go through a majority of this process. The birth parent could never show up to one court hearing and still get these services granted. There's so much to this process but it's so fascinating once you're inside of it to see how our Nation really fight for the best for our kids. I know the news really demonizes the system but really there are people who care and lay down their lives for this.


Below is a link to the flow chart of the court system:
http://www.google.com/search?q=dependency+case+flow+chart&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

Below is a link to Children's Bureau:
http://www.all4kids.org/

Key Terms to know:

Foster to Adopt- Child is still in foster care but the goal is adoption.

Birth parents- the parents who birthed the child in foster care

Re-unification services- Services granted by the court to help the birth parents get their lives on track to be able to reunify with their children.

Fast Track- Is usually applied to children 0-3 who are taken from birth parents, because of the circumstances of the case the court is only obligated to grant 6 months of services after that they move quickly to terminating parental rights.

Home study- A report written up by the social worker stating that the house that the child is placed in has met all the requirements. The report also includes a personal history of the foster to adopt parent.


Thoughts and Journal Entries
July 2010-September 2010

Emotionally it's been a roller coaster since deciding to move in on being a foster to adopt mom. My roommate that I lived in the same room with moved out in August giving me the green light to move ahead with my dream. How I'm going to financially survive this I don't know but God knows all my needs and this is His heart. So far I've filled out the paperwork and I had the first social worker visit the 10th of September right before my first class. She seems very nice I have a sneaky suspicion that she's a believer but they can't tell you that. The initial interview went well, she has to make 2 more visits and then she will finish my home study.
She looked around the apartment and told me the safety issues that I had to fix, hanging a mirror, decals on the glass door, safety locks for the cabinets, a hook for the blind cords, fire extinguisher, ect. Actually it's all doable I thought it was going to be a lot more. Some of my friends threw me a baby shower right after my first foster class. I got a lot of things but it's hard to know what I'm really going to need who knows how old she will be or what her exact needs are. I did get this amazing crib that has a changing table attached I'm so excited about it it's exactly what I wanted. It's awesome to have such support. I don't know how people truly feel about my journey but I do know that outwardly I'm getting a lot of support. This is what the Kingdom's about, being radical can look all sorts of ways but to me this is it. Not only learning to love but leaving a legacy of love.
The Lord keeps impressing on me that I'm getting a girl and I can't stop looking at pink everything. Passing the baby section in Target is not an option any more I have to stop and look. What will I need what will I be able to get? Every time I'm in the store I buy one baby thing to keep me motivated in moving forward with it. I know that it's going to be worth it in the end.
As I pray for this little one that's coming my way I just feel so much destiny on this child. She's a leader and so full of love and justice. Her life is going to be a testimony to many people and she's going to change history. Whether I have her forever or just get to care for her for a moment she's going to be marked by heaven, for encounter. It's truly not about me, it's about His story for her life and I get to just ride along. I'm truly humbled by the love of the Father for this little one that may not even be alive right now. Before she was even born He knew and predestined her for glory...how amazing is that?


Please leave comments or questions I would love to answer them. If you would like to support us on this journey there's a button at the top where you can donate. This blog is to educate the Body of Christ on adoption in the States and stir up people who are passionate about adoption to take action. Be inspired!