Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Mothers Day

Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.
Isaiah 1:17

Facts and Figures

         I don't know what topic to focus on in this blog entry, there are really many thoughts floating through my mind. So I'll start writing and then hopefully I'll land on something that makes sense. In the foster system there's a lot of inefficiency. From the time that it takes for the child to enter an adoptive home to the completion of adoption could be years. The communication of the different departments and the agencies to the lawyers and the judges. In my experience so far there seems to be a major break down in what people know and what they don't know.
    For example the county social worker doesn't ever really know when the court hearings are and then when the court hearings happen it can be weeks before they know what the ruling was. Now the agency workers usually know less then the adoptive parents and they know way less then the county social worker. Lets say frustration isn't even the beginning of what can be felt by an adoptive parent. You, as a parent, are bonding to this child the more they are in your care the more you fall in love with them. The idea that you could have a child in your home for more then 2 years and still have them taken away is unthinkable.
    One thing I would love to see fixed is the communication between the agencies, lawyers, courts, parents, and social workers. I understand the social workers being overworked and having so many cases that they don't even know which case they are on but that too needs to be fixed. I'm not complaining for complaining sake I think there has to be solutions out there. I think of fortune 500 companies who have thousands of employees and somehow that huge machine runs with efficiency enough to be productive.
   Wouldn't it be great if you had a business person who is highly trained in running a huge company to come in and draw up a plan where there was cleaner lines of communication, ways of saving time and energy so that children aren't in the system so long and there's not so much wasted time and energy? Just a thought.
  This month was huge for us they terminated the FR services and so we are one step closer. I'm hoping it will be quick from here on out. It's just frustrating the communication is so bad between everyone I haven't heard from my county social worker in over a month.

 Thoughts and Journal Entries
May 2011
       It's my first mothers day this month. I took baby girl for the first time to Bethel to see my family. I spent mothers day listening to Bill J. give a great message about mommas. I really miss my mother. I know that she would have loved to see the baby. All of my family seems to love her though I don't know if the reality of what I'm doing is really sinking into any of them. My sister can't get enough she's going to be an awesome mother someday. I had to get permission for the trip but I didn't hear until the last minute it's been really hard to get a hold of my social worker.
      Being here in Redding I'm thinking about our future. I really don't want to raise her in the city. I want her to have a back yard where she can get dirty make forts and be free to explore nature. I just don't see that as a possibility in LA. I see kids in LA who are already worried about how they look and what they are wearing. The shallow materialistic worries bother me especially for children so young. I don't want her to growing up caring about how she looks or her body image being bombarded by fake computerized images. I want her to be free to breath in nature explore God's creation and to be more of a deep thinker.
     I can't deny that it would be great to live in a small town again with friends and family around without all the burdens of running a department. I thought when I got the baby things would be different but nothing has really changed I'm still running the children's department, doing worship, and will start worship painting. I haven't had many volunteers for the kids department and I love the kids but I'm so sleep deprived it's really getting to me.
      Being in Redding around family lets me relax and breathe. I miss the nature everywhere you don't really get that in the city. I love seeing the mountains and just the 5 minute drive anywhere really gives me a break. It's hard having a baby in the car for a hour drive by yourself. Though I do have to say packing a baby and all that they need in a car and driving for hours is hard too. No wonder people take staycations there's a lot of energy in taking a kid on vacation.
     Also this month we celebrated labor day by hiking in Malibu that was fun bringing the baby. However I realize any sort of excursion and I'm really worried about breaking her schedule. It's so interesting how much the feeding and nap time schedule cuts into everything that I do. She's sleeping better at night and she seems to not have as much stomach problems as she did when I first got her. She had her 3 month shots and I almost bolted through the roof. 3 shots on each leg and an oral polio what are these people crazy? I wish I didn't have to get her vaccinated pumping a little body full of all those chemicals made me almost loose it. We put our children through torture because of fear. I'll talk about my views on vaccines later but I seriously had to have trauma broken off of me. They made me hold her down through the whole ordeal I wanted to punch someone.
    Any way this month has been full of interesting news turns out I'm loosing my job. Nothing that I did just my student and her mother are moving back to England. So my fear of being a single mother without a source of income is about to be fully realized. Thank you Jesus for faith, I've lived this way many times and I know that He will not let us go hungry! Does this pose a problem with your adoption? Yes, I guess it could if I don't pay my bills but I know God will come through He always has and always will. We will see how this story unfolds because I just said yes to this journey God is the one that has to write in the lines.

One of my favorites!

Mexican Ballerina

First Hike!


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