If you have been in church for any length of time you've learned to associate comfortable with a negative feeling. I remember vividly sitting in services where the preacher was preaching against being comfortable. You're not affective in the Kingdom if you're living comfortable, it's a badge of honor and Christianity to be in a constant state of being "uncomfortable". Many times I made the vow to myself and God that I would never live a comfortable Christian life I was going to be the radical.
Again I will preface this by saying if all you do in you walk with the Lord is show up on Sunday and warm a seat then you're probably missing out on the 'fun' part of the Faith. However I live in a culture where everyone is radical. I do understand that not everyone gets that from their body but around here every moment of everyday someone is doing something that God told them to and making the world a better place.
Just recently the Lord started to highlight the word Comfort. Unconsciously, I immediately associated the word with a negative emotion. The many sermons for not being comfortable settled into my subconscious and I wouldn't even let the Lord reveal what He wanted to. Finally I surrendered to the revelation and God changed my perspective completely.
As I'm working with children who have had major trauma and pain in their short young life I realize that comfort is actually a heaven idea. There are so many scriptures on comfort. The Holy Spirit is the comforter! The power that's in comfort is beyond natural. Comfort heals, sets free, and brings restoration.
The only people that can give comfort to the broken are people who are comfortable. If I'm living in a constant state of tension, anxiety, and on the edge pushing the envelop I'm not in a place to give something I don't have. There are many days now where I stay home with my adopted daughter and now foster daughter and we sit by the fire wrapped in warm fuzzy blankets with warm fuzzy clothing on. That moment of comfort helps to calm the anxiety and tension. I have to say I'm still on the journey on the power of comfort and it's connotations to healing to the orphan spirit but there's something to bring a traumatized child into an environment of comfort.
When we live in a place of peace and comfort we are ready to hand it out to those who come across our worlds who need the healing power of comfort. Here are a couple of verses to meditate on about comfort.
Psalms 23
Psalms 71:20-21
Isaiah 40:1
Matthew 5:4
Romans 15:4
2 Corinthians 1:3
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Are you the best choice?
It all started long ago this idea that we as single people have to wait to walk out certain parts of our destiny till we are married. I have to make a personal statement here I want to me married and I believe with all my heart that it's part of my destiny. I know many think you have to wait so I want to set into perspective, I believe everything needs to be taken in balance. I understand that God says to us directly that we will do certain things after we are married but a lot of people (especially women) don't believe they are capable to walk out their destiny till they are married.
Last week I was talking to a young woman whose heart was to do foster care but she was warned against doing it as a single mom. "It's best that there are 2 parents in the home." was their advice. While I agree the best solution is that both parents are in the home and healthy I want to challenge that statement.
Just recently I was placed with a little girl who came from a world of hurt. How humans can do the things like this to another human I will never understand. As I'm reviewing her short but heavy history I have a realization that God placed her in my home to have the best shot at healing the wounds as possible.
Because I said yes to my destiny and didn't wait till I was married I've adopted a child who otherwise would have been bounced around from foster home to foster home and now another child will have a chance at encountering Jesus. Every place this kiddo went before me was unable to give her what she needed. I'm not saying I'm the solution but Jesus is. One person in the Kingdom, who carries the Spirit of Adoption, can completely shift an entire bloodline and destiny of an orphan. Would you want someone to rescue you when you are in the worst possible situation or would you want them to wait till they are married?
I get it, you're saying but ........ xyz. Whatever your excuse or reason for not stepping forward and saying yes to your destiny lets ask this question is it because you think you can't do it or God can't. People ask me all the time how do you it? My answer is..... I don't know. I honestly have no idea how I do it because I don't God does. Sounds pretty cliche but its' true. When I imagined my life before a baby I didn't think I would make it. When I imagined having 2 toddlers in my home at the same time I didn't imagine making it but when I stepped out and did God showed up.
Is God tell you to wait or is your fear telling you to? There are babies/ kids/ teens out there now who need someone anyone who knows God, loves Jesus, hears His voice, lives a Kingdom lifestyle to break their bonds and free them from their pain we will wait to have everything line up just right or will we step out and say yes?
You, a powerful Kingdom carrier can do it! God has not given you a spirit of fear but love! You are more than enough, you are more then some of these kids have ever had in their entire life. Nothing is impossible! I believe in the power of God and trust Him with my destiny so much that I live in the yes. When God shuts it down I know that it's not the right time. God is faithful in every little detail of my life He has never failed me He won't fail you. I encourage you to step out, be bold and say yes.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Soul Ties - A slow march to the end
While this post may not seem relevant to adoption/foster care I would say through my limited world view it has a lot to do with it. Soul ties are a huge part of unhealthy behavior amongst foster children because of their past, there was never a healthy example of valuing one's self and no picture of covenant.
For the brief time that I had been placed with my teen foster daughter I started to see something that I hadn't seen before. There was a deep tie she had with someone in her life who was not only unhealthy for her but in many ways toxic. Neither one of them are to blame for their toxic relationship because neither of them knew any better or any different. When you don't know there's another way you won't know there's a way out of what you're in. That's why abused women stay in abusive relationships.
This relationship in her life proved to me that her deep need for connection, protection, and family would be paid at whatever cost she could afford. She was never wanted, cared for, chosen, loved, or valued and with all that this person demonstrated those priceless desires in her heart so she would do whatever she could to connect and protect that connection. As I observed her deep soul tie to this person I was instantly taken back to my teen years. I was right there with her. I found someone who fulfilled all those needs except it was empty in the end. Though I can't say I came from any similar background as she did that same desire to be loved, valued, connected to, seen.... was very familiar to me.
No matter what I wanted to say to her about the futility of this soul connection I realized that this was her way of staying alive. Maybe more figuratively then physically but, maybe that too. She needed this unhealthy connection through it all because it was the only connection that she had that told her she was something.
As I was spending time with the Lord about her I felt the Lord say " Soul ties have an end date." He continued to show me that soul ties because they are forged out of a need to self serve would never last, but a covenant relationship was formed from the nature of God. With covenant commitments, because it is formed from the nature of God it has a lifespan of eternity as long as the boundaries and characteristics of covenant are adhered to by those joined in covenant.
In this moment I realized my goal to stay connected. Once my teen lost that soul tie she would need a fall back family. Her fierce independence was emboldened by the fact she was connected but if that connection's time ran out the reality of her loss would quickly turn into a spiral. While she was in my environment I demonstrated as much as I was able to her value and her worthiness of being chosen and being loved. Many times that demonstration threatened that deep soul tie connection she had but I kept my love aimed towards her no matter how much she ran, raged, or fought it because I wanted her to know she was worth it.
People often ask me about having a teen in my home and I have to admit that often times it felt like having a roommate. I will never be her mother but I can be family when she needs it. There were moments where I thought " I have no idea what I'm doing" but in reality I think about that with my 3 year old all the time. Love is the key, not preaching at them, controlling their behavior, or demanding them to fit into some box. To love the orphan is to lay down your agenda, to commit to a covenant. You see, in my covenant with God I pursue what I see in His heart. What's in God's heart? What is He passionate about? For you it might be different but I see the orphan and widow in His heart. Being in this covenant with God means I pursue the desires of His heart to serve and love what He loves.
Soul ties are the Ishmael's of covenant. In the presence of a covenant soul ties pale in comparison. My desire is that through being in covenant with God and with my adopted daughter my foster teen saw something different, something hopeful.
For the brief time that I had been placed with my teen foster daughter I started to see something that I hadn't seen before. There was a deep tie she had with someone in her life who was not only unhealthy for her but in many ways toxic. Neither one of them are to blame for their toxic relationship because neither of them knew any better or any different. When you don't know there's another way you won't know there's a way out of what you're in. That's why abused women stay in abusive relationships.
This relationship in her life proved to me that her deep need for connection, protection, and family would be paid at whatever cost she could afford. She was never wanted, cared for, chosen, loved, or valued and with all that this person demonstrated those priceless desires in her heart so she would do whatever she could to connect and protect that connection. As I observed her deep soul tie to this person I was instantly taken back to my teen years. I was right there with her. I found someone who fulfilled all those needs except it was empty in the end. Though I can't say I came from any similar background as she did that same desire to be loved, valued, connected to, seen.... was very familiar to me.
No matter what I wanted to say to her about the futility of this soul connection I realized that this was her way of staying alive. Maybe more figuratively then physically but, maybe that too. She needed this unhealthy connection through it all because it was the only connection that she had that told her she was something.
As I was spending time with the Lord about her I felt the Lord say " Soul ties have an end date." He continued to show me that soul ties because they are forged out of a need to self serve would never last, but a covenant relationship was formed from the nature of God. With covenant commitments, because it is formed from the nature of God it has a lifespan of eternity as long as the boundaries and characteristics of covenant are adhered to by those joined in covenant.
In this moment I realized my goal to stay connected. Once my teen lost that soul tie she would need a fall back family. Her fierce independence was emboldened by the fact she was connected but if that connection's time ran out the reality of her loss would quickly turn into a spiral. While she was in my environment I demonstrated as much as I was able to her value and her worthiness of being chosen and being loved. Many times that demonstration threatened that deep soul tie connection she had but I kept my love aimed towards her no matter how much she ran, raged, or fought it because I wanted her to know she was worth it.
People often ask me about having a teen in my home and I have to admit that often times it felt like having a roommate. I will never be her mother but I can be family when she needs it. There were moments where I thought " I have no idea what I'm doing" but in reality I think about that with my 3 year old all the time. Love is the key, not preaching at them, controlling their behavior, or demanding them to fit into some box. To love the orphan is to lay down your agenda, to commit to a covenant. You see, in my covenant with God I pursue what I see in His heart. What's in God's heart? What is He passionate about? For you it might be different but I see the orphan and widow in His heart. Being in this covenant with God means I pursue the desires of His heart to serve and love what He loves.
Soul ties are the Ishmael's of covenant. In the presence of a covenant soul ties pale in comparison. My desire is that through being in covenant with God and with my adopted daughter my foster teen saw something different, something hopeful.
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